Parenting in an Asian Australian household was difficult back in 80’s and 90’s. We were never praised for doing a great job in school and our best still wasn’t good enough. We were always compared to our siblings, we were always compared to our cousins or our neighbour’s cousin’s uncle’s niece who got 99.9% in their HSC (the equivalent to today’s ATAR).
When our parents left their birth countries in search of a better life, they were met with their challenges. Leaving their families behind, trekking in the middle of the night to hop on a fishing boat crammed with upwards of a hundred people or more, real-life pirates and landing in a foreign country before being sponsored to their forever home.
It wasn’t easy.
And so, the expectations were very high.
So, when we talk about positive reinforcement, it’s nothing like what we knew growing up. But, what we do know is, that positive reinforcement has the power to significantly impact a child’s confidence and self-esteem. By understanding the principles of positive reinforcement and implementing effective strategies, as parents, we have the power to empower our children to navigate life with resilience and self-assurance.
So, what is Positive Reinforcement?
Positive reinforcement involves providing praise or encouragement in response to desired behaviours. It focuses on reinforcing positive behaviours rather than punishing negative ones which, in turn, creates a supportive environment for children to thrive.
And what are the benefits of positive reinforcement for building confidence in children?
For starters, it can help to:
- Boosts self-esteem: Positive reinforcement helps a child develop a positive self-image by acknowledging their efforts and achievements.
- Fosters motivation: Encouragement and praise motivates a child to continue to strive for success and take on new challenges.
- Strengthens resilience: When we emphasize strengths and progress rather than negative connotations, it helps to build resilience and teaches a child to bounce back from setbacks.
- Improves communication: Positive reinforcement fosters open communication and strengthens the parent-child bond, creating a supportive relationship built on trust and mutual respect.
So, here are some practical tips for implementing positive reinforcement in your house
We all know that people thrive when praise and acknowledgement are given and children are no different. I mean, if we think about what it was like growing up, we’ll find that a lot of us go out searching for acknowledgement from other sources like in school, at work or in our community. So what can we do differently with our children?
- Be specific with praise: Instead of generic compliments, praise your child on specific actions or efforts to reinforce the desired behaviours.
- Focus on effort rather than outcomes: Encourage perseverance and effort regardless of the outcome.
- Use rewards strategically: If you’re going to reward your child with “if you do x, then I will give you y” then, do this strategically. If you don’t, you’ll end up with a child that will only perform in exchange for something.
- Be consistent: Consistency is always the key to effective and positive reinforcement so be sure to praise and acknowledge positive behaviours.
Positive reinforcement can be used as a valuable tool for building confidence and supporting them in their overall mental development. By incorporating these strategies into your parenting approach, you can really empower your child to thrive and succeed in all aspects of their life. Remember, celebrate their strengths, acknowledge their efforts and provide them with support every step of the way.